Tuesday Talk

 

May 10, 2011

Robert Fairbanks '11

To listen to Robert's Tuesday Talk - click the play button...   

So, just to let you know, I wrote one Tuesday talk that turned out to be too short, so I wrote another, that was also too short so I combined them. Unfortunately to do so, I ended up using a horribly awkward transition so just be prepared.

 In the last couple of days of spring break my dad bought me the eBook, “Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle.” I wasn't sure what message he was trying to get across, but I read it anyways. Most of it was pretty boring but there was one section at the beginning that I actually found fairly interesting. The author talked about the importance of setting clear goals for yourself. He said, “the number one reason for failure in losing body fat –and in life - is the lack of clearly defined goals.”He goes on to say, “Goals, when properly planted in the subconscious mind, produce action. Goals create energy and motivation. Goals get you out of bed early in the morning and into the gym. The secret to staying motivated all the time is to set emotionally charged goals and to stay totally focused on those goals day and night, without taking your eyes off them. A goal with a purpose is the fuel that propels you forward.” Body fat aside, this struck me as a very powerful message.

It got me thinking about my time at Cate. With all the stuff going on, all the time, it's really easy to lose direction and focus. Some nights I have been so busy and had so much stuff going on that, rather than doing any of it, I just go to sleep. I have come to realize, and rather late in my time here, that that is not a productive way of going about my life. Looking back, if I had set small manageable goals, oh I dunno, maybe I would have actually been able to do my chemistry reading on a semi regular basis and not bombed that class. Between all the things we do here, the easiest thing to do is to just stop doing everything. However, according to Tom Venuto, the author of the fat loss book I was talking about, that is not what we should be doing. Rather, we should take advantage of the fact that we have so much to do. If we used all these opportunities presented to us rather than trying to avoid them, and set realistic goals we would be able to do everything we do better. Some of you are probably thinking, “Ya that would be cool, but just because you set goals doesn't mean that you will actually accomplish them.” Yes, I would have to agree with you, that is indeed true.

For example, last week Jackson mentioned that he had never been Santa Barbara athlete of the week. I can beat that. I have never even been the Cate School Coastal View news athlete of the week. (that's like the little, second cousin of Santa Barbara athlete of the week that no one really cares about) On a side note, I believe the athlete of the week is decided by Wade Ransom so if you happen to bump into him you might just remind him that I pitched a one hitter against Thatcher and scored the winning run the other day. And yes that actually was a goal of mine. Not the Thacher part, but the Coastal View part. I realize that some of you probably don't even know what the Coastal View news is or that they even have a Cate athlete of the week, but that has actually been a goal of mine for quite some time now. At the beginning of the baseball season, I was a little bummed when each week I waited for the agonizingly slow Cate internet to load page 17 of the online Coastal View, and I saw somebody else's picture. (Jackson's has actually been there a few times now) Over the season though, I've realized that actually being the athlete of the week isn't what's important. What is important is that I set a goal and I have, hopefully, improved as a baseball player. So this is where my first Tuesday talk ends and the second one begins with that awkward transition I warned you about.

One of the goal's I set for myself for this year was to get to know more people at Cate. Talking about the relationships you form with people at Cate is probably one of the most cliché and overdone topics of Tuesday talks and for that I apologize, but I think that even that speaks to how powerful and influential those relationships really are. Cate provides a unique place where you get to meet and know people you might never ever have gotten to know otherwise. A personal example for me is that of Won Chung, who is luckily taking an AP so I can say what I am about to say without inflating his already rather large ego. When I came back to Cate for my sophomore year, really the only thing I could tell you about Won was that he was the unfortunate soul who was roommates with the funny kid from Missouri, who might be one of the few people who is actually messier than I am. I ended up getting to know Won through Edward; I would go to their room to argue with Edward about politics and, occasionally, when Edward wasn't there, I would end up talking to Won instead. Over time I came to find out that Won and I were similar in more ways than I originally anticipated and that he is actually a really hilarious and intelligent person. Since then, some of the funniest moments I have had have been with Won. Once, I entered Won's room to be greeted by a horrible odor. Once we determined that it wasn't Edward's clothing I did a little investigating and found a dead mouse in the ceiling. Trying to be a good friend I grabbed a shirt I saw on the ground and grabbed the mouse and threw it out. Only after I did this did Won start yelling about how the now soiled shirt was worth $200. The sophomore version of me found that hilarious and I literally laughed until I cried. More recently, this past summer, Won stayed at my house for a couple of days. At some point we decided that we wanted to watch a DVD so I drove us to a Blockbuster. Now there are two things you need to know for this story to make sense. The first is that being a boarder with a driver's license is difficult at Cate because of a lack of practice. It's not that I forget to drive, I simply forget how to park. The second thing you need to know is that Five Points, the shopping center with the Blockbuster has a horrible parking lot. Back to the story, we arrived at our destination just fine, but the parking lot was completely full. We finally found one spot next to a nice Mercedes. I tried to park next to it, but I didn't do so in a straight line so my car's passenger door was about an inch and a half away from the Mercedes driver's door. I was telling Won that he would have to wait in the car or climb over the center console to get out when we noticed that there was a rather perturbed gentleman in the Mercedes who was asking us what we were doing. Needless to say I quickly pulled out and parked about a 7 minute walk away from Blockbuster. For some reason, Won doesn't find this as funny as I do and is convinced that my parking will eventually lead to our deaths, but it is incidents like these that make these Cate relationships so important. You might say that I could have parked badly on my own, but what made that particular incident so unique is that I had Won with me, and for whatever reason that makes it exponentially funnier. On a more serious note, and all of you need to swear to never tell Won this, I have had some truly interesting and enlightening conversations with him, and I have learned a lot in general, and about me, simply by talking to him.

It's not just the relationships you make with your fellow students; the relationships you develop with the faculty can be just as invigorating. If you ever see a faculty member sitting at a table or walking somewhere alone, just go up to them and talk to them; you'll be amazed at what you can learn. Play board games with Mrs. Block, talk to Mr. Michelson about vitamins, ask Cher Pow what exactly she keeps in the giant freezer in the Bio Lab, or ask Bonning about the last time Jodi ordered pizza. It doesn't matter what you talk about, just initiate some conversation, start a connection and you might be amazed with the results.

There are really only three things that I hope you might take away from this talk, one, set goals for yourself, you might be surprised that it actually works, two, if you get sick often talk to Mr. Michelson about vitamins. I'm not kidding, he really has that stuff figured out. When I was a freshman I got sick all the time, but he gave me some very helpful advice. My third and final suggestion is this, at some point in your time at Cate, make an active effort to reach out to someone you might normally not have any reason to talk to. It's easy - so give it a try. You could even make it a goal.... Thanks for listening.