Tuesday Talk

 

April 27, 2010

Rohit Goswamy '10 and Byoungwook Jang '10

 

To listen to Rohit's and Byoungwook's Tuesday Talk - click the play button...   

Before I went to Maine as an exchange student, I studied English for quite a long time. Reading through a kid’s picture book, I found the word “stuff”. I asked my English teacher the meaning of the word. He seemed to have a hard time defining it, but I clearly remember the lesson, he said, Americans use the word “stuff” quite often. For example, one can say “oh can you pass me that stuff?” and amazingly the other guy understands it and passes him the “stuff”. So I briefly want to talk about the theme of my Tuesday talk with the word “stuff”. AS you can see, I need a place to put my stuff like everybody else does. That’s the whole meaning of life. Trying to find a place for stuff. And if you think about it, that’s what your houses are all about. Your houses are just the places for your stuff. If you don’t have much stuff, you wouldn’t need a house. You would be just walking around all the time. Again, that’s what your houses are all about. Just pile of stuff with cover on it. You can see that when you take off an air plane. You can see that everybody has a pile of stuff. Everybody has their own pile of stuff. When you leave your stuff, you got to lock it up, unless you want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. They always take the good stuff. They don’t bother with the sentimental stuff you’re saving: pictures from elementary school, your penguin suit or squash racquets that Nathan left behind. They’re looking for the good stuff. It is a place to keep your stuff while you go out to get more stuff. Sometimes, you got to move, you got to get bigger house. Why? Too much stuff. You got to move all your stuff, and maybe put some of your stuff in your storage. And imagine that there’s a whole industry based on keeping an eye on your stuff. Enough about your stuff, let’s talk about how some of you’ll use this stuff. This stuff can be reflections of your life. I know that some of you will strive to express this stuff on your college essay, trying to express yourself to seem different from everybody else. However, does it really matter to be different? Why can’t you be yourself?

A month ago, I received a few of these:
Dear Rohit,

Congratulations! Our admissions committee has completed its review of applications, and on behalf of the committee, I am delighted to offer you a place in the class of 2014.

I also received many, many more of these:
Dear Mr. Goswamy:
It is with sincere regret that I write to tell you that the Committee on Admissions has completed its selection of the class entering in the fall, and has not been able to offer you a place…

When I look back on the process, it seems stupid. First of all, I always remind myself that there is really nothing I can change about the past and that it is really done. But then, I continue anyway through the stupidity, thinking that maybe if I had done something differently, maybe if I had studied harder, maybe if I had answered differently on a test or two, that I could be attending the school of my dreams.

And at first, upon reading the letters, I was angry, to say the least. I had worked for nothing. I had accomplished nothing. And I would get more despondent with every moment that passed. I kept going through the cycle over and over again, thinking to myself why I had wasted so much time and effort in coming all the way to California just to be rejected by some school. And I would think and think and think about it.

Yeah. Rohit is worrying about the stuff he has done in the past. I did that too. I also got about 6 rejection letters and not even half number of acceptance letters. And I deposited into one place that I didn’t want to go back to… Last Year around this time, when I ran for president I said, “WELL My first year in America was in Maine. Is anybody from Maine? NO. I used to get really upset when I told people where I spent my first year in America in Santa Barbara. Maine? Wow? Must have been cold. And I used to go along with them. Yes, Maine. It was a frozen host of wasteland. And there was much work to be done, if we were to survive the elements. After boiling a hole through the ice to find food, my good friend Mike and I would build an igloo to protect ourselves from polar bears and flying hockey pucks…” I talked about the bad part of Maine and the reasons that I didn’t want to go back to Maine,, ever. But it turned out that I am going back to Maine this coming fall, the same exact place that I spent a year as an exchange student… But recently, I didn’t’ seem to care what college I’m going to attend. It was useless to think about the stuff that I’ve done and that I would have done in different colleges. We have time to make more stuff here at Cate.

After a while, I was writing an assignment for English and I was reading over my Williams rejection letter for inspiration (the topic was about sadness), it finally hit me. What the hell am I doing? Why am I sitting here thinking about the same subject when I could out and about doing things, learning, anything other than staring at a computer screen with rankings, percentiles, and acceptance rates. I realized that the first thing I think about, mentioned previously, was so true. There was nothing I could do about the rejection. So, the institution hadn’t chosen me for the class. I didn’t meet the academic qualifications, or they didn’t think it was a good fit for me, or maybe I didn’t do enough community service. Whether or not I had done that stuff didn’t matter because they had made their decision based solely on what they had seen in the packet that I had sent. And it’s ok that they didn’t choose me. A senior last year, whose advice I respected, told me: “Rohit, it just sometimes seems like luck. There is no formula to get in and even if you do, don’t gloat because sometimes, that is all it is: luck.” Bad habits you can change; bad luck is nothing you can do anything about.

This is the important thing: They didn't reject me. They rejected my resume. They gave some other kid the benefit of the doubt. Maybe that kid deserved a break. Don't I deserve a break? Sure. And I will get one. Maybe this is the reality check I needed. I know the school that does take me will be good. This is the day I will start to grow up.
Look at some of society’s accomplished people and see where they started. Ronald Reagan? Eureka College. Winston Churchill? He was so slow a learner that they used to write to his mother to come take the boy off their hands.

I know what you think: Spare me the sympathy. It still hurts. But let's keep this in perspective. What happens when you don't keep a positive attitude?

I don’t know ask Bryan.

This college thing? What happened is that you rubbed up against the reality of big-time, big-name, institutions. Some they pick, some they don't.

Look to your left. Look to your right. You are in the presence of tomorrow’s leaders, your best friends. These relationships, along with the connections that you make with your teachers and others around campus will be things that you will cherish forever. I am sure that if you talk to any of these teachers, they will tell you the same thing. Whether it’s just acknowledging the fact that you have so much to live for or whether it’s embracing it, get out there and just do it.

He’s right. People try to make changes, or regret for what they have or haven’t done. You can think about the little things that I can look back in Cate life. The little universal moments that we share separately. The things that bring us together. So little that we hardly ever talk about them. Do you ever notice how sometimes all day Wednesday you keep thinking it’s Thursday. And it happens over and over all day long. And the next day you’re all right again all of the sudden. Do you ever find yourself standing in one of the rooms and you can’t remember why you went in there? Do you ever try to tell somebody that there are a little bit of dirt on their faces. You can never get them to rub the right spot, can you? Have you ever fallen asleep late in the afternoon and woken up in the dark? You don’t know what the hell the day is it, do ya? On top of all these funny moments that we can all agree with, we have the biggest thing in common. We are here at Cate. We came here leaving behind all the stuff that we developed during our childhood and came to find more stuff that will fill our life. Unfortunately, after four, three, two years or one year of Cate life, we all go to different paths. So why would you waste opportunities to share part of our life with our best friends, including the faculty?

You came here for a reason. Whatever the reason is, we all have one thing in common: we came here, either subconsciously or not, for the experience. Because let’s face it: the things you learn here are things you would perhaps have never learnt elsewhere. These life-lessons in growing up and facing challenges are things that we are going to have to face throughout our years. So even if you came here for college, you know that the people you meet and the mesa that we call a second home, will store some of the best moments and best times in your life.

I remember my first day like it was yesterday. I had just driven up the hill with my mom and a senior from Saudi. And the first person I met was a senior girl who directed me to my older sibling. She, unfortunately, didn’t know that my older sibling was sitting in the car with me and happened to be my older brother’s best friend. And then I met my first friend at Cate: Roy Young Jr. He was outfitted in a crisp navy blazer and khaki pants. And I thought to myself: whoa, I thought I dressed up. I won’t ever forget my sophomore year N-weekends which were so free and fun. You all probably have many memories that are quite similar to mine.

So, instead of worrying about something that, really in the long-run, won’t be a such a huge deal, embrace the now. Take hold of the air around you. Thank those who have given so much and love everything around you, because that’s what life is about: being happy. And you can’t be happy if you are worried all the time. So grab a ball, book, friend, whatever it is, and enjoy what is left. Because, surely, these years will be, undoubtedly, some of the best in your lives.

“I hope your dreams take you to the corners of your smiles, to the highest of your hopes, to the windows of your opportunities, and to the most special places your heart has ever known.”

And the admissions department that said no? Forget them. You've got a life to lead.